Kimberly is in that category. Not that she’s that much dirtier than me, but she’s more promiscuous than I am, needs sex more than I do, and more into the group thing than I am3. She’s also hot, by the way, so… if there was such a thing as “platonic lust,” that’s what I’d feel for Kimberly, though the phrase feels kind of oxymoronic.
Prologue
I used to have a blog where I wrote about my visits with escorts. At the time I wasn’t willing to pick up women in the usual ways, because I was married and didn’t want to set any false expectations. A woman named Kimberly had her own blog, about her adulterous affairs, and we ended up following each other’s blogs. Occasionally we would joke around in each other’s comments, and that was it.Eventually I discovered A-M and started a new blog about my adulterous experiences, and Kimberly followed that one too. She lived in a different city, so I wasn’t expecting to ever meet her in person, it was just nice to have a friend with whom I could discuss my sex life – not to mention my propensity for hiring escorts – without being judged. After all, she was committing adultery too – any chance she could get4 – and therefore didn’t have much of a soapbox upon which to stand.
One difference between the two of us, though I didn’t know it in the beginning, was that I was pretty content in my marriage, whereas she wasn’t at all happy in hers. Mostly due to a growing rift between her and her husband, but I think that there was also a sexual component to it: she might have been needing more than one man could provide. The affairs were helping, but they weren’t enough.
Coffee
To my surprise, I eventually did get a chance to meet her in person. She was coming to town with her husband, I don’t remember why, and made time one afternoon to meet me for coffee. Just coffee, we weren’t going to fall into bed together, but I thought it would be nice to see her in person. And how right I was: Kimberly turned out to be hot as fuck. Luckily, she also turned out to be easy to talk to, and we spent an entire afternoon together, talking about sex, and… I don’t know, maybe other things, too, but mostly sex.After that meeting we went back to following each other’s blogs, and leaving the occasional humorous comment for each other.
The Swingers’ Club(s)
Later on she came to town again, but this time she didn’t tell me. I found out later from another blogging friend, who happened to live nearby and with whom I had struck up a much closer friendship. When she told me that Kimberly had been in town, I felt a little left out; why didn’t they let me know, so we could see each other again? But then she told me why Kimberly had come to down: they were planning to visit a swingers’ club, just to see what it was like, and they wanted it to be a girls night. I felt better at that point, because swinging isn’t my thing and I wouldn’t have joined them (though I’d have loved to have seen any or all of those women in flagrante delicto).They enjoyed the experience – and my local friend made out with yet another blogging friend, which would have been something to see – but the one who enjoyed it the most was Kimberly. Kimberly took to the sex club like a fish takes to water: when she discovered this place, she found her calling. Picture the heavens opening up and a chorus of angels singing down on her… and then quickly turning away in embarrassment from the debauchery she was engaging in. Having sex with strangers, and having strangers watch her have sex with other strangers… Kimberly was discovering that this is what she was made for.
After this wonderful experience – life altering, in Kimberly’s case5 – they started trying to convince me that I should join them there sometime. Kimberly came to town a couple more times for the same purpose, but I turned them down each time, reasonably confident that it’s not my thing. The difference, however, is that on the additional trips I would meet them for brunch the next day. It was always nice to see them and catch up, but of course much of the conversation would be about the previous night’s adventures at the sex club, and Kimberly was the one who was most vocal about reliving the experience. Fortunately or unfortunately, Kimberly’s voice carries, and she has no shame6, so I’m sure that many of the patrons around us also relived the experience with us.
On my side, the conversation mostly revolved around Voldemort at these meetings. Jesus Christ, am I ever going to write about Voldemort, and just get it out of my fucking system7?
Pulling Away
What I didn’t know, at the time, was that Kimberly’s marriage was coming apart at the seams, and some of her wild activities were probably a result of that. Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe Kimberly was – and is – very much into swinging and group sex and whatever else of a sexual nature that she can try, but I also believe that she was at a loss, trying to reevaluate her life, and there might have been some holes she was trying to plug with sex8.But things might have been getting out of hand. At one point my local friend went to join Kimberly in her town for a night of fun, and Kimberly got so wasted that she had to be pretty much carried back to the hotel. If I remember the story correctly, they had to pull her off of some random guy first, and she wasn’t happy to be pulled off of him9.
I wasn’t communicating much with her at this point, but she did eventually leave her husband, and ended up in a relationship with a guy who was… maybe not so great10. My local friend was in closer contact with her at this point, and from what I could glean from her the guy was an asshole. What I didn’t realize, and I don’t think anyone did at the time (including my friend), was that he was more than just an asshole, he was emotionally and physically abusive to Kimberly. He was also doing his best to have her cut ties with her existing friends, which is a standard move with this type of asshole.
Again, I didn’t know this. All I knew was that I was seeing less and less of Kimberly online. Eventually it got to the point where she’d send me an email occasionally with a question, I’d answer it, and I wouldn’t hear from her again. I’d send her a “how are ya?” kind of email once in awhile, and get no response, so I eventually stopped reaching out at all. So my reaction was to put Kimberly in that category of “selfish/needy” women I sometimes come across: she only contacts me when she needs something, and other than that she has no time for me. Couple this with my friend’s interactions with her over the same time period, which were not always positive, and I was getting the impression that Kimberly was just a hot mess.
Footnotes
- 1 By definition the women I have adulterous sex with aren’t my wife. ↺
- 2 “Low friction” isn’t a pun. Get your mind out of the gutter. (And into my pants…) ↺
- 3 I love it in porn; I don’t know that I’d be into the group thing in real life. ↺
- 4 It’s possible Kimberly exaggerates her sexual appetites when she talks to me, or over-emphasizes some things. It’s all we have in common, so of course it’s the main thing we discuss. But she’s definitely done some shit I haven’t done, and I highly doubt she’s ever made anything up when talking to me. ↺
- 5 I might be hitting this point a bit too hard. She liked it, is what I’m sayin. ↺
- 6 This is not an insult. Kimberly has nothing to be ashamed of; I don’t want Kimberly to have any shame. ↺
- 7 If you’re asking yourself who the fuck Voldemort is, it’s because I haven’t written about her yet. ↺
- 8 I don’t have to state that that’s not a pun, right? You get what i’m saying? Not literal “holes,” I mean holes in her soul. With me? Good. ↺
- 9 I don’t imagine he was happy about it either. ↺
- 10 I’m a master of understatement, except I can’t think of an understated way of saying that I’m a master of understatement. ↺
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